I have been thinking about writing a post to discuss my first full month of unemployment, but every time I’ve started it I have had a really hard time finishing. I’m not sure if I am still having a hard time accepting it or if the frustrations that have been going on in our lives lately have overtaken me.
For the new readers out there, I lost my job on August 1st.
It was unexpected and sudden and we had not planned for it at all. Losing your job is never easy for any family, but with a husband in medical school and being the only source of income it really hit hard.
(This was an old picture taken a few years ago at my husband’s White Coat Ceremony in medical school.)
I went through waives of emotion. The first couple days I was just sad, then anger set in, and then I went through sadness again. I didn’t understand why this was happening to us.
Medical school goes through phases and has a lot of ups and downs. Your 4th year is supposed to be the year you finally get a break. His big board exams were over, his residency application is in, and all he really has to focus on are his rotations and interviews for residences. This was supposed to be a time where we could finally breathe and relax.
I was mad. I felt guilty and hated knowing the stress I was adding on my husband’s plate.
(This was taken the morning before I lost my job.)
I threw myself into running. I have always run, but I upped my mileage and used running to escape from the confusion and sadness in my head. I was running double digits almost every day. I did this too fast and thankfully only got a warning a few weeks later instead of a full blown injury.
I don’t really remember to much from the first couple weeks to be honest, it was such a blur of running, blogging, and trying to figure out how to handle all of this.
So where am I now?
I still have bad days, but I am trying to focus on what is important.
Today was a hard day as I got a letter from my old employer saying they overpaid me for vacation so now I owe them money. Money I don’t have. I have 10 days to pay it back and I really don’t know how I am going to come up with it. I am trusting that we will find a way.
My husband has been amazing. This hasn’t been easy on him and this does effect him as much as it does me, but he has never once gotten upset with me or blamed me. He has helped in any way he can and let me do what I needed to that would help me heal.
I have one possible job opportunity still on the board, but other than that there isn’t much else. I keep applying, hoping, and trying to do the best I can.
Every day I wake up and try to focus on the important things. I can’t change the past, but I can make the best of what we have.
One of the biggest struggles with finding a job is the fact that most people figure out that my husband is in medical school and that we will most likely be moving in 8-9 months. I can’t change this, but I will keep trying to find the right fit.
That pretty much summarizes where we are right now. Still hoping and praying, but trying to stay positive.
I feel like this quote pretty much summarizes my life:
I keep focusing on finding the joy in every day. No matter the place in our lives, there will always be joy to be found in the journey!
I’ll be back later today with my weekly recap!
Don’t forget to enter my BIC Bands Giveaway! It ends TODAY at 12:00 PM EST!!!
They “overpaid” you for vacation?! That’s crap. I’m keeping my thoughts with you and your family! I know you’ll find something soon, and you guys will get over this hurdle 🙂 Chin up!
Aww thank you! 🙂 I know it will work out in the end, sometimes when you are going through it it just is tough. Thanks for stopping by! Running and my blog have really helped me get through this time that is for sure!
That must be SO tough, but it sounds like you have a great attitude – going through a range of emotions is healthy! Try not to get down on yourself – I’m sure there’s an amazing job just waiting for you to find it!
Thank you! I hope so 🙂 just need some good news here soon! No more bad news needed in our household 🙂
I definitely don’t get the ‘overpaid for vacation’ thing – did you guys use the full year vacation and you were let go before you had actually used the time? Most places – unless YOU quit – will eat that stuff. That really stinks!
Also, why do prospective employers need to know your husband is in med school? That is like asking if you are pregnant. They are hiring *you* – you should not feel the need to disclose about anything but yourself.
Been sad to hear, know first-hand the stress of this stuff! But I am glad that you didn’t end up with a real injury and have been able to work through it.
I also love hearing how you and your husband are a team on this – because it is NOT your fault, but I know in too many cases there is resentment and that can cause harm that carries for years. Having a supportive partner makes the world of difference (I should know after more than 21 years with an awesome wife!)
Keep up the good work and just do the best you can!
Supposedly they accidentally paid me for time I had already taken. How was I supposed to know!? It was there mistake. I don’t mind paying it back but I don’t have it! What am I supposed to do!? We will see….
What happens is people see where I used to work in NC and ask why I’m here – I have a problem lying about it so it ends up coming out. The one job I have on the table didn’t ask so I’m keeping my fingers crossed!!
My husband has been great. Honestly I put the guilt on myself because I wish I don’t want to add anymore stress to him. Hope I can pay him back in the future!!
Thanks for the support 🙂 it means a lot for all the nice comments!!
Hang in there, it can, (and most decidedly will) get better.
I have been where you are, and it nearly destroyed me, my marriage. I graduated from chiropractic school at the worst time possible with the economy tanking around me. I could not find a job. I could not get financing to start my own business. I started seeing patients out of another doctors office under a very predatory agreement. It failed, after I put everything we had into it.
Then came the bankruptcy and all the stigma and guilt attached to that.
And I had to go back to school for my 4th degree, (nursing) just to be able to have a secure job. To this day, 60% of my pay check goes to pay my loans for chiropractic school.
As far as employers being hesitant to hire you because you’ll be moving soon, don’t bring up the fact that your husband is in school. They don’t need to know, and they’re actually not allowed to ask about his employment/school status by federal law. When they ask you your 5 year goals, let them know you’re looking for a job that has advancement opportunities and chances to take on increasing responsibilities. They don’t need to know you may not be there after 9 months.
$0.02–and probably worth less than that.
Yeah I need to find a better thing to say I’m just too honest when asked directly! The last interview I had didn’t ask so I’m keeping my fingers crossed!
Even though I didn’t want to I applied for unemployment 5 weeks ago and STILL haven’t gotten it because they say they are behind. They said if I don’t get it this week to call and have it escalated – I wouldn’t take it if we didn’t need it! Hopefully it will come through to get us by until I get a job!
I know about the loans! My husband and I hate looking at how much he has accumulated in student loans but we hope and pray it pays off! We work hard to save and it’s hard to have to deplete your savings after you’ve been working so hard to build it up!
Thanks for the kind words 🙂 trying to keep my spirits up!
Good heavens, what a roller coaster and what a terrible turn of events that they are making you pay them back for a mistake that was theirs! Wishing you peace today and in the coming days and hope that the right opportunity is on its way.
Thank you! That means a lot 🙂 we will get through this, but sometimes it is just hard to see it when you are going through it. I appreciate all the kind words, they really help me get through this time!
That’s ridiculous that your job expects you to pay them back within 10 days. It’s their fault they overpaid you grrrrrrr. I would tell them they will get it when you have it. That’s just not fair.
I’m glad you filed for unemployment. That’s what it’s there for. You can use some of what I pay in taxes 🙂 go for it!!
I agree with the others, just omit the husband finishing medical school thing 😉
Yeah I have to call and fight with them tomorrow! It’s crazy!
Haha thanks 🙂 I figured if I’ve been paying into it the last 10 years might as well take it to help live off of until something comes up!
9 years ago I lost my job, the day it happened was one of the worst days of my life. 9 years later it was the best thing that could have happened to me and started me on the path to a career I truly love. It was hard getting there, but I wouldn’t change a thing about the experience. Good luck, I’ll kep you in my prayers. Jen
Thank you Jen! I really appreciate it! I know I wasn’t happy in my previous job, but I need the income for my family so it has been really hard. I know in the future it will get me to where I want to be! Thanks for your prayers they mean a lot!
I know what you’re going through must be so hard and I give you so much credit for staying so positive because that’s amazing!!! And you’ve been doing some amazing running so that’s such a happy thing 🙂 !! Keep staying positive – it will all work out…and in the mean time enjoy all that running! 🙂
That is definitely what I am trying to do! 🙂 Running has been my life savor and I am happy with all the good training I have been able to get in! Thanks for the uplifting comments 🙂 I am trying to stay positive!
Hugs to you girl! It’s never easy to face the mountains in life- sounds like you are doing a great job of staying positive and loving life regardless!!
Awww thank you! I am trying! I really appreciate it 🙂
i just read this post … just now … i lost my job oct.2012 & i am still unemployed … but relentlessly applying for my next job … it is … very very very very difficult …. i can relate putting your frustration on running … mine is exercising whatever gets my body moving at max ….
Oh no! I’m so sorry to hear about your job loss. It is so tough but I promise it will get better! It took me a year but now I am on my way to brighter and better things, but I can 100% say now that it was for the better! It doesn’t mean that it won’t be hard, but it does get better! If you need someone to talk to you feel free to email me at saralovingontherun{at}gmail{dot}com.