I want to thank you all for being patient with me during this time of travel. We are currently in the car driving back to Pennsylvania. We had a great trip and enjoyed spending time with family. I am happy to report Wes’ interview went really well and we have high hopes for the future! I will be back to my normal blog posts tomorrow, I promise! We have a few days in PA before heading to Chicago for the marathon and I plan on catching up as soon as I get back!
Today I have a guest post from an awesome blogger friend of mine, Megan from The Lyon’s Share Wellness.
Hi! I’m Megan, and I blog over at The Lyons’ Share. I’m so grateful to Sara for letting me share her space today – I’ve loved following along with her blog and getting to know her over the past few months, and I’m inspired by her determination to tackle recovery from injury with 110% effort. I know she’ll come back even stronger!
One of the things Sara and I have in common is our super-fast husbands – their marathon PRs are only 2 minutes apart. We both get tons of joy in watching our husbands race, but we both also deal with the challenge of living with men with speedy metabolisms who run up to 120 miles per week! This challenge isn’t just for Sara and I – many people struggle with a significant other who eats more (or differently) than they choose to eat, so today I want to share a few tips on how to maintain your health despite these differences.
I’m sure many of you have heard stories about moving in with a significant other and packing on the pounds. Some reports show that the average post-marriage gain is up to 20 pounds, and that women are more likely to gain weight after marriage than men! Don’t be alarmed, though – if you actually dig into the research, it turns out that most people’s weights change very little, so it certainly IS possible to maintain your health! Here are a few tips:
1. First, recognize the difference. I’m not a proponent of strict calorie counting, and I believe that each person’s caloric needs are unique, but it’s worth saying that the average man needs 800 calories per day MORE than the average woman. The average male metabolism is 10-15% higher than the average female metabolism –bummer! Sadly, there’s nothing I can do to change the fact that Kevin’s metabolism is just faster than mine, but recognizing that there is a difference is important. As silly as it sounds, realizing that I don’t always need to match him bite-for-bite is a big first step.
2. At restaurants, do your own thing or make healthy adjustments. There’s no need to order the biggest thing on the menu just because your significant other did. But if whatever he ordered happens to sound good to you too, it never hurts to make a few adjustments. When Kevin and I were in San Diego for his sister’s wedding in May, for example, we headed to a Mexican restaurant with amazing Tortilla Soup, and we both ordered it. However, while Kevin’s bowl of soup was piled high with tortilla chips and shredded cheese, I removed the toppings from my cup of soup (straight into his bowl!), and ordered a large salad topped with salsa (hold the tortilla bowl!) to go alongside.
3. At home, adjust your portion size. When we’re both at home and I’m planning to cook, I’ll simply ask Kevin whether or not he wants some. It’s important to just talk about what you each need and want, and to make a plan. If we’re enjoying the same foods, I’ll often serve him a larger portion or he’ll go for seconds. One summer night when Kevin was craving steak, we both enjoyed an ear of corn on the cob and a hearty portion of roasted veggies. Kevin had larger portions of both chicken and steak, and I made pasta for him to have on the side.
4. Use the same basic ingredients to create different dishes. If we’re not going to have the exact same thing, Kevin often creates his own dish out of similar ingredients. One recent night, I had a bunch of veggies roasting, and some tomato basil sauce cooking. While I mixed together the veggies, tomato sauce, and a veggie burger, Kevin added the veggies and sauce to some pasta, and had some breadsticks on the side.
5. Make things with similar flavors, even if they’re completely different. For example, when I made my Healthy Cauliflower Chicken “Fried Rice,” I saved Kevin a whole grilled chicken breast and he made his own yellow rice to go alongside it.
When I made my Ridiculously Healthy “Spaghetti and Meatballs,” Kevin made “real” pasta, and used some of the leftover ground turkey breast to make his own meat sauce.
We sometimes post our side-by-side creations on Instagram like we did here, to see which one people think looks better!
6. Sometimes, it’s fine to do your own thing! There are often nights when Kevin feels like heating up a frozen pizza, and I’d rather go for a veggie-filled (but delicious!) option. The keys here are to recognize that being different is OK, and to remove any judgment from the process. If Kevin wants to eat what I’m making for myself, I’m always happy to make him extra portions. But if he wants to do his own thing, that has to be fine for both of us! (Another key, of course, is to always “steal” bites of the frozen pizza … come on, you have to live a little!)
7. Don’t let yourself feel deprived. Kevin loves to have a huge bowl of ice cream at night. His body handles this well, but a serving of ice cream that large is not something my body would tolerate. When we first lived together, I would try to ignore the fact that he was eating ice cream and I “couldn’t,” which only left me feeling deprived and resentful. Now, I either allow myself a smaller portion of ice cream, grab a piece of fruit, or enjoy one of my favorite healthy desserts (try my tropical mango “ice cream”!) Having something of my own makes me happier, and leaves me feeling healthier, too.
Most importantly, do what’s right for your body, but don’t be too strict. You know your body best, and you know the kinds and amounts of foods that work for you. Just being aware of the differences in nutritional needs between two people is a huge start. And sometimes, it’s OK to cut yourself a little slack. After all, I believe in “eating healthily and living actively … The Lyons’ Share of the time!”
Thank you Megan for this awesome post! It has some great tips and tricks for eating healthy when you spouse has different dietary needs. If you haven’t already make sure to check out her blog!
I will be back tomorrow! Have a great Tuesday!
Do you and your spouse eat the same?
Great post! My husband and I eat a lot of the same dinners, but our breakfast and lunches are different. First, I stick to a plant-based diet and my husband loves vegan meals but he generally eats meat and lunch and then if we do a plant-based dinner (example: Lentil Stew, he often adds chicken sausages to his portion). I can sometimes out eat him (crazy I know) but we definitely eat differently. I think it’s all about finding what works best for you 🙂
I would love the recipe for that lentil stew – is it on your blog somewhere??
I totally agree about finding what works best for you, and I like the idea of making a plant-based dinner that he can add meat to if he chooses. We do that, too, even though I eat meat sometimes! I out-eat my husband sometimes, too (especially if you’re considering volume). No shame!
Yay! Thanks so much for letting me share here. I really appreciate it!
Thank you so much for helping me out!! 🙂
Great post Megan! It is really important to recognize all of these differences and work together. Like anything else in a relationship – communication is key.
Since I am running 50+ miles all year long (more in marathon season), plus whatever other activity I can get in, while my wife has arthritis and joint issues that limit her to walking … synchronizing eating is tricky.
My situation is complicated by being older and having two teenage boys (6’2″ and 6’3″) to feed on the normal nutso schedule!
One thing we decided ages ago was ‘one dinner … period’. We are both pretty good cooks and bakers, and love to experiment and try new things. Lisa has several food allergies and a sensitive system, so out ‘experiments’ are fairly narrow in scope. But as I note, with two kids juggling this all gets trickier.
The things you mention all make sense:
– Portions: obviously I can have much more … and need it. But the kids need even more, so typically we scale our plate sizes accordingly.
– Balance: when you have meat / starch / veggie, it is actually pretty easy to scale the portions on each plate to suit the needs of each person.
I love the ideas about some of the unique recipes, and we’ve tried many of those for the 1-2 ‘meatless’ nights we do each week. The kids have actually adapted to a semi-vegetarian menu much better than I expected.
Thanks again for the cool post!
Yes I know all too well living with a husband who runs 100+ miles a week our portions are a little different – especially now that I am injured! Love your thoughts on it especially involving kids (let alone teenage boys!) as well!
Wow, 4 people with different nutritional needs is even MORE of a challenge! Good for you for figuring out what works for all of you, and glad the kids are adapting well! Sometimes kids (I’m thinking of my nephew here!) tend to put up a stink about food, but then end up eating and liking it anyway!
This is a great post! I struggle with this issue with my boyfriend and we don’t even live together yet. These tips are so helpful. A lot of times we just end up eating out so that I can get something healthy and small and he can get whatever his hearts desire. I will definitely be using some of these so we don’t always have to eat out.
Completely agree Stephanie! It is easier sometimes to eat out so that you all can eat different things, but I know with my husband and I that adds up quick! I tend to try to make something we both can eat and then just eat a smaller portion.
Glad this helps, Stephanie!! My husband and I both travel for work 4 days per week (separately), so we always want to avoid eating out on the weekends – opposite of most people! Hope you use some of these tips with your boyfriend!
Great post! We have a role reversal issue in our house in that I am really active and my husband isn’t. We both tend to go make fairly healthy food, but I eat a LOT and, and I think he eats more because I am constantly eating. He tries to make his meals other then dinner a lot smaller, and I think that has helped a bit. It’s a constant battle though!
Yes it really Is a battle! It’s hard not to compare yourself to the other person eating wise! Sounds like your husband is like me still trying to learn a balance 🙂
I totally agree with what Sara said – it’s always tough to not compare yourself to other people … the real challenge is finding what works for each of you and sticking to it! Although I usually eat less dense foods than Kevin, I also snack more than him (he’s fine with one meal a day if needed, and I need to eat more regularly), so I deal with the same challenge there. Good luck!
Love this! Some excellent tips!
My fiance and I have completely different tastes. I love my veggies, but the only ones he’ll touch are peas and carrots. I can stand meat, but he believes it should take up the majoirty of his plate!
Often I create a dish like pasta, and once the pasta is cooked add meats to his portion and veggies to mine and I like to have tasters of his meal when I’m out along with a side salad for my dish.
HA! I know how this is. My husband will only touch green beans and corn. If I want him to eat much more than that I have to somehow “sneak” it in there 😉
Thank you, Mary! My husband didn’t like any vegetables besides plain steamed broccoli when I first started dating him 10 years ago, and now he eats a TON of veggies! Try not to force him, and if you’re ever roasting veggies (which I do ALL the time), make some extras so he can “try” … roasted veggies were the key to getting my husband to eat more! I like your idea of creating a dish then having him add meat and you add veggies. And I’m with you on tasting – I’m ALWAYS tasting my husband’s meals :).
I am definitely the can & will eat anything person, but prefer fruits and veggies.
So I also cook loads of grilled veggies in the summer, broiled veggies (balsamic garlic asparagus is a hit), and sautéed okra with flaxseed breading is another one even the kids love …
Okra with flaxseed breading?? This peeks my interest! My mom always used to make us fried okra in the summer (being from the south) and this sounds like a delicious healthier alternative!
I am very much a ‘north-easterner’, so okra isn’t something that I ever had as a kid – and it is way too easy to make slimy. So getting the light breading and simple sautee – and having everyone actually like it – was definitely a winner.
As for the ground flax … I pretty much don’t use breadcrumbs anymore. 🙂
That sounds like a really interesting idea to try! I cannot eat slimy okra, maybe it is because I was raised in the south but I have tried and it just doesn’t taste good to me!
I will be trying this out in the near future 🙂
LOVED reading this post, Megan!!
Thank you, Anne! It’s great to hear from you – didn’t know you were still following along :).
When I first moved in with my now fiance, I went through a transition period where I seemed to forget that I could NOT eat the same amount of food as a 200 pounds guy!