My first day of switching up my workout routine was a success!
I am slowly starting to increase my running after two weeks of pretty much doing the same thing. Today I had a 4.5 mile run on the agenda.
The run itself went well. I still catch myself getting frustrated with where my cardio levels are at, but I know that will come with time.
I finished out the 4.5 mile run and the opted to walk for an extra mile total 60 minutes.
After I had finished running and cooled down I decided I it was time for strength training. Wes still hadn’t finished his run so I focused on upper body.
Once he finished we did a few lower body weights and strengthening exercises before calling it a day.
Switching gears for a few minutes, if you haven’t noticed my blog documents two main things: running (if you are surprised by this I am worried) and my marriage.
My marriage is one of the most important things in my life even above running.
You may have noticed a few mentions on the blog over the past several weeks of some stress going on in my life. To be honest, the stress itself was my husbands. As the wife it still effects you even if you don’t mean it to.
Medical school inevitably comes with stressful times, and even though 4th year is supposed to be the most relaxed of all it hasn’t quite turned out that way for us.
Over the past several weeks specifically I have learned a few very important things when it comes to supporting a spouse who is going through very stressful times.
I thought today I would focus on just this: How to Support Your Spouse in Stressful Times.
1. Be Patient and Loving
Even though sometimes you just want to scream, this is the time to really focus on being patient and loving towards your spouse. Showing patience shows that you are putting your spouse first. You understand what they are going through and when they are ready to talk or they just need a break that you will always be there.
Many times your spouse will push away during this time and I find it important to still be loving and affectionate even when they seem like it is the last thing they want. I have found it always helps even just slightly.
2. Don’t Take it Personally
We all do it when we are going through hard times: we take things out on our spouse that is in no way their fault. The best thing you can do when you know your spouse is under a lot of stress is not to take the things they say personally. Of course, it isn’t the right thing to take your anger out on someone else but when you know they are dealing with a hard time try your best to let it go and be supportive even when it’s hard.
3. Be a Source of Positivity
Even when things are going badly, try your best to find small ways to bring cheer to your spouse. A simple example was on Sunday after my husband finished his run and got in the shower. I went and left a simple message on his computer:
I figured not only would this bring a smile to his face but it would also make him laugh. If you know how much I love frozen yogurt you will know how big of a deal this is.
The important thing is just to bring some positivity and cheer to your spouse. It may be the smallest thing but it allows them to forget about the stresses and brings a little joy to their day.
4. Don’t Encourage Negativity
I think this is one of the easiest traps to fall into. Don’t fall into negativity instead stop it before it starts. It is easy for all of us to get down and negative when bad things are going on around us, but as the spouse I believe it helps to try to stay positive and not feed into the negativity.
Positive comments and focus can go a long way for your spouse. You want to be the safe place they can go to escape from the tough times.
Keeping our fingers crossed for some good news this week!
What do you like to do for your spouse when they are going through a stressful time?
(Random note – I didn’t get an email notice of this post, just in case others find the same thing)
I love this post – because we ALL go through difficult times, and let’s be real – we do not always handle ourselves the way we would like when we are stressed/overwhelmed. I think what you said about not taking it personally is absolutely critical.
The way you describe ‘being there’ is also very important, because it describes something else – “Learn How to Be There for Your Spouse”. Sometimes being close is perfect, other times it makes matters worse; it is all about learning how best to support them.
I have one more for you: “Shut Up and Listen”. Sounds rude (I hate the phrase shut up as a rule), but it is true – so often we want to problem solve, to make things better, to fix it … but we can’t. I think this is worse for planners & organizers as well as people who have always had the ‘fix it’ role in their family. But very often, when someone is stressed or unhappy or whatever, all they really need is their ‘safe zone’ – they need to be able to say stuff out loud in a judgement free zone.
In November my wife was feeling bad – her ankle was healing slowly, crap at work, crap with her sister, stress with the kids, and so on… and I I stopped at the store and bought her a $2.99 flowering plant and brought it to her at work. She broke down in tears, because it was exactly what she needed – not something that cost a lot, just something pretty that put her first and showed she was loved.
Good luck to you guys!
Yes my site was having some “technical difficulties” this morning which could have been part of the reason for that.
I actually really like the “shut up and listen” – I always want to fix the problem or take it away and realistically I can’t. I just have to be there when he needs me and keep my space when he doesn’t. 🙂
Thank you!
Love this! I love to hide surprises around the house. I will leave notes around with hints of where to find the little prizes and he will have to scavenger them. I do this with little bitty gifts (nothing extravagant), but it is something to look forward to during stressful times.
Aww that is such a sweet idea! 🙂
As a military wife, I’ve had my fair share of supporting my husband through some tough times. Actually, sometimes life is just hard and I think it’s something to be thankful for to have a supportive, loving spouse. It’s nice to see a post like this. Marriage these days is too often taken for granted so it’s nice to see others working in their marriages instead of just giving up after a rough patch of time.
Thank you Nicole! I can only imagine the stressful times you have been through in the military! Sometimes the best roll we can play is the support system. I have learned through this crazy journey that you can never take your marriage for granted. It isn’t always going to be roses and it takes a lot of work BUT it is ALWAYS worth it!
Such a good topic! There have been many times where my husband was going through some real stress and one thing that really helped was making mealtime easier. Taking the reins over cooking gave him some more free time to decompress. He’s totally taken over when I’m the one with the stress too–it’s a nice balance! 🙂
I agree this definitely goes both ways and I think that is important to remember. How would you want your significant other to treat you if the position was reversed!
Great post. Those are some good tips. It is important to be open with your significant other and let them know if something is bothering you or if you are stressed over something. Glad your workouts are starting to get better again.
These are great suggestions. I also try to cook my husband his favorite meal or bake something that I know he likes. Most importantly I try to listen if he wants to talk about what he is stressed about.