Do you compare yourself to other fitness bloggers? I did. And, still do.
The blogging world can sometimes be dangerous.
Let me explain what I mean.
This is a topic that I feel deserves addressing and some people can probably relate to on many different levels.
When I first started blogging and getting involved in the fitness and health circles via social media, I was following all the big bloggers and fast runners out there. I idolized many of these runners and healthy living bloggers. There life looked so perfect. (Note: It didn’t help that during this time I was living in Erie, PA while my husband was busy during medical school).
I looked at my life and the time. I was missing with my husband who was studying non-stop and the other stressors we were dealing with. It made me jealous. My husband would warn me over and over again about comparing my life with others whether it was fitness, health, lifestyle, etc. But, I couldn’t help it. It was my motivation but also my curse at times.
For those who have followed my blog since the beginning know that my husband and I got married in between his first and second year of medical school. We never got to “fully” enjoy that post-wedding enjoyment period because he was right back into medical school and all that encompasses.
I was working a 8-5 job, working until almost 7:00 pm every Friday, and having to work every other Saturday. I would see Wes for maybe 1-2 hours a night and a little on the weekend. It was miserable. It was snowing and dark for roughly 6 months of the year. I lost my job our final year in Erie, and went through several major injuries including a femoral stress fracture and tibial stress fracture during this period.
Then came residency and even busier hours many times.
I looked at other bloggers that seemed to paint their life as very stressful. They were struggling to manage their schedule when they didn’t work and had their families around them for support and help. They seemed like they had this great life where things were relaxed, didn’t have to go to work, they had family support, traveled when they wanted, etc. I began to get frustrated. I would have given anything to have their life, and it left me feeling empty at times.
But then all of the sudden I had one of those “light bulb” moments that finally allowed me to see what my husband had been trying to get into my head for so long.
I admittedly envied the beautiful areas they run in, the free time they have (even though it seems they don’t), the support they receive, their seemingly easy ability to make friends on a whim, and the list goes on. I have gotten better at not comparing myself as my life has calmed down and my husband’s schedule has become more regular.
The key however for me was just becoming a little more aware and smarter in aspects of my life.
The problem with comparing yourself to other fitness and health bloggers is multifaceted. First, you don’t see the full story behind everyone. You can’t fully judge based off a series of posts and social network photos. You can’t truly know exactly what is going on the other end of the computer screen regardless of the post and pictures.
Second, some of these bloggers lack perspective. While I often think I’ve had to deal with some bad stressors, I am fortunate in many ways because I could have it SO MUCH worse and many people have it worse than we do. So, I focus on that and realize the great things about my life.
And finally, everyone is so different. This one is what my husband has tried to get me to fully understand for so long. I compare my training with others who are going for similar goals and when it doesn’t seem similar I start to panic. The reality is we are all different. God created us each as unique individuals and what works for one person may completely fail for someone else. Embrace your own uniqueness.
Using other people for motivation and inspiration is not a bad thing, but try not to do what I did for so long and compare yourself and deeply envy what they have. I absolutely love what my husband and I have and built together. Sure, I wish we didn’t have to work and could run whenever we wanted and had the more “liberal” life of other bloggers, but I love what we have and that doesn’t mean we can’t make adjustments in our life as we gain more freedom in our career directions and free up some of the restrictions that Wes’s job places on him with his schedule.
If you’ve made it this far, congrats! I guess my point is, next time you find yourself comparing yourself to another fitness or health blogger: step back, take a deep breath, and gain a bigger perspective and appreciate what you have and realize that your not seeing the full picture on the other side of the computer screen.
Do you ever find yourself comparing?
Do you use social media for inspiration at times?
So my main platform is instagram, and I have REALLY struggled with this this week actually. It’s like this curse that we all do to ourselves, and it can be really really tough. I totally understand and definitely need to work on this myself!
Oh yes, Instagram is wonderful but it can also be rough when it comes to comparing yourself! I know YOU, Katie, are one of my inspirations for SURE!!
Hi Sara,
I myself have only been running for a little over 18 months now and like many it was a move to lose weight and get a better version of myself that I see in the mirror each time I make that decision to peer in. I have moved from someone struggling to complete less than a mile without feeling like I am about to die on the spot to someone who has completed a number of races (5k, 5 Miles, 10k & 10 miles) and on the cusp of running my first Half Marathon. As you can imagine the changes that have taken place have been a source of inspiration and so far I have lost 4.5 Stone (28.5KG) (Sorry I live in the UK hence the Stones measurement lol) in weight and a lot of my clothing needs to be replaced simply because it is starting to look like I am wearing a small tent on me lol.
2015 has been my first full year of running and at the beginning of the year I set myself a number of goals all with the view of building up for larger goals in 2016. I have been lucky in the fact that I have not only completed these goals but am now on the verge of actually completing a goal I was due to set myself next year. The closer we get the bigger 2016 seems to becoming! So much so that I along with a running club member have entered the Ballot for the Berlin Marathon next year and even if this doesn’t pan out we will be taking up the challenge of another continental Marathon before the end of 2016!
Because of all the factors mentioned above and the general way that I see myself and doubt my progress. I regularly take to the internet to find something, some article, some blog or some person that I can find who inspires me to believe not only in myself but my own abilities. You are one of these people and for that I am entirely grateful, even if I do look on at the pace time with a tinge of envy at times. Without people like yourself or my running club members my progress and self belief would not be where they are now, I would not be hoping to complete my first Half Marathon at a time as close to 2hrs as possible, I wouldn’t have had the courage to put myself forward to run a full marathon.
But I also know of the trappings that can come from trying to be like the person you are reading about and feeling that if you can’t replicate what they are doing (no matter what fitness level / ability you are) at that moment of time that you are failing in some way! I have been in that position in the past and thankfully have learnt from it and have been able to move on with my perceptions of me and what I can truly accomplish. But I believe a lot of people are always likely to fall in to the same trap, this is why I feel this blog post is so important not only as a way to understand your journey a little better but to highlight an important issue to someone who may not realise they have fallen in to the same trap as you once did.
So please continue to inspire and motivate others with your actions and take comfort in knowing that your words have the ability to affect people in more ways than just simply keeping them up to date with your (and subsequently your husbands) progress.
Alex (UK)
Wow Alex, Thank you so much! I completely agree with you. The internet, blogs, and social media can all be great forms of motivation and inspiration! It’s just important to make sure that you are doing it in a positive way 🙂 Thank you again for your wonderful comment!
I read a ton of other running blogs and I agree with you on this, it is way too easy to look at others and not compare. It’s hard to read a race recap or training log and not stack it up next to whatever I have done that week (usually less, usually no speed work, usually no photographic evidence…). It’s like I have to prep myself before reading them and remember that doesn’t mean I love running any less or have a less valid point of view, just different. Thanks for posting this, it’s always a good reminder for running and life in general!
Yes, I know exactly how you feel! Sometimes people get too wrapped up in blogs and believe that what they see is 100% the truth OR they believe that they have to do things the exact same way. It’s a very easy and quick trap to find yourself in. Good for you for recognizing it! 🙂
Such a great post Sara! My first year of blogging, I wanted to fit in to the HLB world, but I quickly realized that was not my niche and I was so sick of the “fakeness”. That’s why I’ve totally turned my blog into what I’ve always wanted it to be. A real food/recipe blog only. No comparison, just helpful delicious recipes 😛
Good for you for doing what YOU wanted! That is so key!
I feel this way about facebook a lot of the time. Everyone is carefully crafting the way they present themselves and it can come off as “perfect” a lot of the time. Meanwhile, we’re all struggling with one thing or another and we have to keep in mind that what’s portrayed on social media (and blogs) is only one tiny slice of that person’s life.
Oh, I agree Lisa! I think all forms of social media at some point can be tough not to compare yourself!
Thank you for this post! I recently started blogging and couldn’t agree with you more– it is hard not to compare yourself to others (social media is tough sometimes!) and be completely happy with yourself at the same time. They say that comparison is a killer.
Not to be hypocritical, but you should be so tremendously happy that you are currently in med school- what an accomplishment! That is beyond impressive. Now I will stop comparing 🙂
But in all seriousness, while comparing is tough to avoid, it sometimes does lead to feelings of jealousy and lowers self esteem. Any time I start to compare myself to others, I quickly try to think about my own life and my own happiness. Unplugging from social media at times is helpful too 🙂 Knowing that you are doing the best you can and that you are special in your own individual way is key. Thanks again for your post!
Ha! Well my husband was in Medical School, not me. I was working to help him through it. He is now doing his residency! Not my cup of tea, but so proud of him and work to help support him and our future!
Unplugging from social media I agree – is so KEY! I really need to make sure to do that more often.
I think it is an excellent point that you don’t see the full story behind everyone from their posts to their pictures. I definitely compare myself to others sometimes… why can’t my pictures be as lovely, why can’t I get as big a following, how do these people have so much time do do this stuff, blah, blah. It can be a bit damaging to say the least.
I have not totally escaped it, but I’ve just started to ignore it more. Sure, someone may have better pics, more followers, more sponsors, but if I figure if I keep plugging away I’ll get to where I want to be. I started with the intention of inspiring and helping others and if I just keep remembering that I think I’ll be okay.
So important! I think it’s always going to be there but it is important to be able to realize that we are all unique and that’s what makes us so special!
Great post!
Yes – I do compare to other bloggers especially those who get to work from home and can run whenever they want/ have tons of people helping them with the kids.
I have found myself not reading the more fake bloggers lately – I’m just no into hat. I totally don’t get the bloggers who lie about their training/races. I leave identifying details and all work stuff off the blog but that’s more for privacy and well, too many work people know about the blog lol. But I do share about struggling to get runs in and all my bathroom struggles during races 🙂
I have no idea how you get up so early to get your training in! I would be a zombie lol
Ha! I should take a video and show what I am like for the first couple hours of the day, most of the time I am a zombie! I just remember how nice it is to have it done and not have it hanging over me all day! I think the struggle is part of what makes us real. It isn’t all easy and smiles – sometimes it is blood, sweat and tears! Thanks for sharing Rebecca 🙂